Hello language it's me Elizabeth

I haven't been writing not for lack of interest. I haven't been writing because I ran out of room in my fake Moleskine to add any more and that is the God's Honest Truth. I need a good notebook to write in or else everything just comes out like _________________.

So I write things on receipts.

i.e. This One:

(Flattened by a meter a second, crushed swamp melts city down to armchair) Remember when life was wide - remember when everything touched was squirming from inaction - Now hands feel best folded. De-veined you are a shining lace rope, and every one who says is sandaled and stands still.
"Fear not" now for a removal to where clouds recline as a curtained parallel, here or there a sweetness will seep so gradual & so sublime.

or sometimes just words, like "bouleversement" which means something in French that I can't remember, something like chaos or confusion or turmoil.
I just realized that the last thing I wrote in my notebook is unfinished(?).

it ends
"maybe could you."

I'm so uninspired. I feel insipid. All my thoughts are anemic. Yes I did just use a thesaurus to find the word anemic which apparently can also mean the same thing as insipid when it's not referring to anemia.

I need more receipts but I don't have the money to acquire said receipts. I'm stuck & I have nothing to get out of me. I fail. I surrender, I secede, etc. etc. Maybe I am just not cut out to be the writer I thought I was.