I have insomnia again

I would like to be a mouse burrowing in a nest on Fourth Avenue. I would like to be small and warm and sleeping.

I don't mind though the cold that is so permeating I can't feel my toes as I walk home. A taxicab driver stops next to me and asks if I need a ride and I say no but thank you.

The best time is the night in the middle of the week in New York City. I love the desolation of the streets. I love the sparseness of the lamp posts. I love the radiation of neon light from whatever is left on overnight or the warmth from the 24 hour diners. I don't mind it at all. In fact I feel most at home at this time.

No, I don't mind my insomnia, but I don't like it either. I know I'm not functioning properly right now, but there's nothing I can do about it except ride it out, like always.

It won't stop me from wanting to be a mouse though. As I walked I was looking for rats or roaches or some sort of animal life but then I realized that it is way too cold for any of them to be outside, so I imagined all of these rodents and bugs wherever they go when they aren't scuttling across sidewalks or sometimes the tops of feet.

Or eating garbage in the subway. The subway is what I love best, I think.